SyracuZe and Ztuff

Ever since I was conceived, I remember dad talking about "Syracuse." I remember him making mom go to local sports bars and friends houses to go watch Syracuse Football and Syracuse Basketball games. I have finally experienced Syracuse sports. Yesterday, I watched a group of people run around with a ball and throw it in a hoop and to each other. I'm embarrassed that something so simple looking makes my dad so excited, even more so because before the game he dressed me up in Syracuse gear and took photos only to have the Syracuse basketball team get trounced by Villanova. Dad, your team stinks.

We got heaps of visitors yesterday! Everyone wanted to hold me and I got passed around a lot, which kind of made me dizzy. I got some great gifts from mom and dad's friends. Uncle Justin (dad's friend from college) gave me a New York Mets baseball jersey for infants, when dad told Uncle Scott (another friend from college), he realized that I needed to get a New York Yankees jersey so that I wasn't forced into liking one team over another. These guys are nicer than my dad because he is forcing me to like Syracuse. My Aunt Hillary and Uncle Josh (real aunt and uncle) came last night! It was so good to finally meet them. They smelled nice. I felt at ease when they held me and I rested in Aunt Hillary's arms for a long time while dad and Aunt Momo (mom's friend from Camp Fernwood) laid on the floor sleeping. Other people who came were Uncle Neil (dad's friend from college who is also psyched about Syracuse), Uncle Jon and Aunt Amy (dad's friends from college) from Buffalo, and Uncle Justin's girlfriend Aunt Allison. I don't know why dad introduces them all as Aunts and Uncles, but, I go along with it to make him happy. All in all, there is a lot of action going on here.

In other exciting news, I went outside for the first time yesterday! I like it out there. The breeze on my face felt similar to the breeze I feel on my butt when dad blows on it to try to get the cream to dry faster after he lathers it on. His breeze is warmer though. Mom, Dad, and I walked to the post office collecting box because we had to drop some mail off. Mom was really happy to be outside.

My poop is becoming more formed. That is neat. I am looking forward to tasting sweet Manischevitz wine at my Bris Milah. That will be amazing.

In other genitourinary needs, today I was being changed and SOMEONE didn't cover my penis and I almost peed in my face but luckily it missed left by a few millimeters.

I got my first bath today. At times it was nice having lukewarm water dribbled on my body. Luckily mom and dad didn't dribble it on my forehead. If they had, I would have reported them for waterboarding. I was also thinking of practicing for American Idol next year so I've begun practicing. Please see photos for greater detail...I'm clean now people. What what?!

One more day until penis cutting day!

Poop and Pee SimultaneouZly

Some might call me unpredictable. Others would dare to call me a loose cannon. I would call me inZane. Last night dad wanted to try to "bond" with me so he insisted that mom give me to him after my feeding. He then proceeded to undress me fully, with the exception of my diaper. It was all fun and games and cute for him while I laid oh his chest and had "skin to skin time." We took photos and everyone (grandma Karen, mom, and dad) seemed to be having a jolly old time. Then I simultaneously pooped and peed. In most circumstances that would be completely cool because the diaper would soak it up. In this case, however, it was not. I must have done it at the exactly, perfectly, on the money, bang on angle that my poop and pee were able to escape the diaper and run all over dad's chest. From the outside, it looked like I was oblivious to the whole situation but inside I was laughing my face off. When this happened dad said "uhhhhh, I think there is something warm running down my side..." Of course there is you idiot?! That is my poop and pee, I thought! He then said some words I haven't heard before, I can't remember what they were exactly, but I know that they rhymed with "duck," and "spit." The best part was when dad realized that there was a pool the poop and pee mixture in his belly button. That was hilarious for everyone but him. Eventually he ended up changing my diaper and shirt, which had spit up, yellowish breast milk all over it, and then gliding me for a little while in the glider in my room. Then he put me down in the co-sleeper next to mom and dad's bed and I immediately started crying because I was hungry. So, I went directly to teet, ate a whole bunch of milk, and farted, sharted, and pooped more while I ate, obviously. Then it was back to the changing table. A clean diaper was again strapped to my body and I was then ready for some shut eye.

In other exciting news, Aunt Jess (one of dad's friends from medical school), came over and held me for a while last night. We both enjoyed that a lot. She is going to be a pediatrician starting next year, so she knows what she is doing, which made the holding session that much more enjoyable for both of us.

Lastly, I am getting increasingly excited about the visitors coming today and tomorrow! Dad is trying to implement a "Baby Hot Poop" rule (similar to Hot Potato) within the bounds of the house. The rule states that: the person who is holding Zane when he poops, must change the dirty diaper. I like this rule and think it would be more fun for all the visitors. We'll see how this pans out.

Here some photos of Nemi and Dosa hanging out in my room and a sequence of photos from when I simultaneously pooped and peed on dad's chest.

Good TimeZ.

I don't know what it is, but, it turns out that I love farting, sharting (pooping/shitting and farting simultaneously), and pooping while I breastfeed. Some might say that it's kind of weird, but, I think it is inZanely cool. It makes the feeding experience more enjoyable for me too! I love how my butt rumbles against the diaper while I feed. In other news, I kept mom and dad up for pretty much the entire night last night. I would feel bad that I kept them up if it weren't for the fact that they wanted me in the first place. If you wanted me, this is the complete package you are getting. I wanted the sweet breastmilk last night, and got it at 11:30pm, 12:30am, 1:45am, 2:55am, 4:30am, 5:30am, and 7:00am, oh, and 8:00am too. It was AWEZOME. For some reason dad slept with his nightlight on last night! I think that he was afraid that something would happen to me in the middle of the night. He's so silly. It's night like I am going to get up and walk out of the place! Dad was so tired that he slept in until 11:30am! Mom was not tired and didn't need to sleep in even though she did most of the work. Dad is such a wuss.

Today is Grandpa Mark's birthday. In honor of him, I am wearing the Rochester Medicine onesy that dad bought me. Grandpa went to the University of Rochester for medical school, just like dad. Please see the photo below, which are honoring grandpa's 65th birthday! Happy Birthday Grandpa.

Aunt Niki came over today to visit. She loved holding me because I am so cute and so awZome. She even brought me a onesy and some other presents! One is a squeak toy and Nemi really wants it but I told her that if she takes it, I will have to strangle her once I can actually get my hands around her neck under my own control.

Dad is going out to run errands now so I have to turn off the internets. Bye everyone!

3 days until they cut my penis! Boooooooo!

Happy Birthday Grandpa Mark!

So much things to tell!

Wow. The last 24 hours have been inZane. Truth to that. Yesterday we had more visitors. I love visitors! I can't get enough of them but mom and dad get tired. They're so old! I did some photo shoots yesterday, I ate some Colostrum, and I dreamed of going home. Today, I went home. Imagine that, my dreams came true. That is also inZane. I got dressed in my Thursday's best, took photos, someone may have cried, and then I got to ride a rolling chair out of the structure I was born in. After what seemed like a lifetime, which dad told me would take 30 seconds, we finally got home! Home is a magical place. There are so many things there! There are so many rooms and so many things for me to get into once I can crawl! Mom and dad have no idea what they are in for! Suckers. My room is SICK! When we got there it looked like a tornado had ripped through the place. Dad got OCD (Obsessive compulsive) on the place and unpacked every thing and organized it. He should go back to the hospital to get help. Grandma Karen helped unpack stuff too. She has been so helpful. Mom did some helping but her main job was to rest, since she needs to recover from me coming out of her belly. I kinda feel bad that I did that to her, but then again, it was really fun sticking my butt on her cervix all the time in the Frank Breech position. So.....I finally got to meet the dogs! They are the sweetest little girls. I think they are a little jealous that I am a dude, but they'll get over it once they realize how much fun I am. They smelled me and walked around me a lot and Nemi acted a little scared. Dosa didn't seem to care about me at first and then she did once she realized I smelled like heaven. Eventually my room got set up, I rested in my pack-and-play since the crib isn't here yet, and now we are finally settling in for dinner. I am so happy to be home that I just pooped and it squirted up my diaper and onto my back, thus soaking my layette in stool! Woohooo! I can't wait to see all the visitors this weekend! Grandma Barbara, Grandpa Gerry, Grandpa Mark, Aunt Leah, Aunt Hillary, and Uncle Josh are coming, and many others too!!! It will be so much fun....until they cut my penis on Monday during the Brit Milah. Thanks for being Jewish, mom and dad....

ConZtapation

So today I finished pooping out all of my meconium, I think... I have gas now which sounds like "blub....blub," but I can seem to make anything substantial come out of my tailpipe. Mom got to eat for the first time since they pulled me out of her belly! She seemed excited about eating a bagel and cream cheese. When I was in her womb, I heard her mention a bagel and cream cheese and it tasted good through her blood stream, but, I didn't picture it looking the way it did. I actually pictured a vegetable that was dipped into a container of creamed liquid when in actuality it is a round piece of bread which has thickened milk of cow spread onto it. Other than that, I have been sleeping a lot and crying occasionally.

Thank you to everyone who sent us e-mails, facebook messages, and text messages. We want you to know that we are sorry if we didn't respond, it's because we are SO tired! We love you all so much!

I'm not big.

People have been saying, wow, he's so big! I don't agree. I don't think I'm that big. I mean, I'm like 2 days old or something. How can I be big? Think about what a 2 year-old looks like. They are big. Not like me. I'm a little munchkin. I am smaller than a watermelon. Look at these photos I asked dad to take and then think about telling me I'm big. Okay? Reconize, son.

Swaddle Me You Fool.

My dad thinks he's soooo good at swaddling because he did a rotation in pediatrics and another one in obstetrics and gynecoloy. Well, guess what, dad? Earth to you! You are NOT as good as you think you are, so get over yourself. The nurses are WAY better than you at swaddling me! You are good for a guy though, I have to admit.

So, I had like the longest feeding last night. Mom couldn't believe how long I was actually eating for. Then I surprised, well not really a surprise because I do it after every feeding, but I kind of surprised them with consecutive, back-to-back, GIANT meconium poops. For those non-medical people reading this blog, google meconium if you care to know what it is.

Dad and Grandpa Mark kind of freaked me out last night. While I was resting in the glass-doored crib/cage they keep me in and minding my own business and pooping meconium and stuff, dad and grandpa were stuffing their faces with raw fish and other food that was rumored to be from Japan. It was kind of gross and they ate at a pace which, in my 2 day-old opinion, was too fast and unhealthy. Anyways, I gotta go. It's time to get back to breakfast. Mmmmmmm...nothing like body temperature breastmilk in the morning. Peace Out.

This is me breastfeeding! Go me, it's your birthday, you can breastfeed like it's your birthday!

Yeah, Boyyyyyy!

Yo people, welcome to my bloggzy blog.
Things all up in this hospital are cool and all, but I want to get out of this piece already, so I can go get slobbered on by these dogs mom and dad are telling me about. Grandma just called me scrumptious and delicious. Yeah Yeah, who's the man?! Mom is eating orange sherbet and dad is typing this for me since I can't type yet, he is my slave, sucka. I hope you are all as psyched to meet me as I am to meet you! Here's a photo of me being badass.